urban creature: IKEA Hilarity


Thursday, February 03, 2005
IKEA Hilarity
I was blog surfing tonight and managed to find a hilarious conversation between Lindsay and the Ikea Chatbot (find her down the bottom-left corner of the screen). I was curious to ask her a few questions myself and sure enough I got some weird and evasive answers.

Me: do you pay asian children less than $1 a day to manufacture your products?
Anna: Please have a look at the Children's Furniture and Accessories.
Me: what music do you like?
Anna: I'm sorry, but I'm not willing to talk about those kind of events. Please ask me a question about IKEA.
Me: do you think there are heaps of people out there making fun of you?
Anna: For which product would you like to know what kind of materials it is made from?
Me: do you meet lots of interesting people while working in your job?
Anna: I don't know anything about the social life in your town, but I have some ideas about meeting and socializing, yes.
Me: what makes you happy?
Anna: I was created by Artificial Solutions (http://www.artificial-solutions.com), IKEA USA (http://www.ikea-usa.com), and HUGE (http://www.hugeinc.com/2001/huge_1000.html).
Me: so they are to blame. do you think i should email them and tell them you obviously have a hearing problem?
Anna: I'm sorry to hear that. Please remember that I can only talk about IKEA related matters.
Me: what do you know about john howard?
Anna: Here you will find the Bathroom Furniture and Accessories.

I'm both amused and confused by the last answer.

Surely the number of bored American teenagers out there with some sick suggestions as to where she can install the lastest range of Ikea products, outnumber the number of genuine customers keen to learn about these products?

Try it out yourelf!

Oh... and by the way... the map below isn't exactly to scale but the shear size of the Ikea store in Richmond isn't far off reality. I'm sure you can see it from space. It's pretty much all you can see when you approach the Yarra from Victoria St.




  Scribbled by urban creature @ 8:57 pm - [Permanent Link]

3 Comments:
At 11:50 pm, Blogger DREADNOUGHT said...

The 'john' in John Howard refers to a toilet when translated into US-Ikea-speak. It gave the same advice when I asked what it thought of John Heard...

 
At 5:50 pm, Blogger urban creature said...

Are you sure, John?

I often think of bathrooms when I think of you. You seem like a bubble-bath kinda guy to me.

 
At 4:34 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's some highlights of my convo with her:

Do you think sponge bob is gay?
I'm afraid I'm not willing to discuss this subject in any way.

So FOX is wrong?
I don't think I can really comment on that at this time.

Would sponge bob buy a velvet sette?
Please have a look at the Fabric Sofas.

And as much as i love them, can you tell me if Bill O'Reilly shops here?
It is found at the bottom of the receipt above the date starting with an ST: followed by RG: followed by CH: and finally TR:

That tshirt is becoming.
You said it.

Do you like Andrew Bolt?
Thanks for asking, but I'm only here to answer questions about IKEA so I don't have any outside interests.

But who likes Bolt anyway.
It is not always possible for me to fully understand what it is you mean. This is one of those times.

Exactly.
Very Well.

He writes for FOX.
I know people love animals, but I'm just here to talk about IKEA.

Why do you wear a microphone if you're a web bot?
I have an outfit that my creators made for me, but because I'm an online assistant, I don't wear real clothes.

--end convo---

 

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