Saturday, March 12, 2005
Pedestrian Liberation Army
As you can tell from previous posts I'm not a big fan of cars. These contraptions are responsible for the poor design of cities, huge eye-sore freeways, pollution and road fatalities. They are also loosely responsible for obesity and heart disease.This said, there are few people in the world willing to stand up against cars, and against the very powerful "roads lobby" in their misguided agenda of creating more and more roads.
Roll on the Pedestrian Liberation Army (PLA) I say! They could (under the cover of darkness) close roads and paint cross-walks. They could change speed signs to speeds more amenable for pedestrians - let's say 8km/hr. They could hack into the central traffic management system and change all the lights to red. They could leave a calling card too...
Something like this stencilled near the site of their thoughtful, chaos-creating endeavours. They could use this yellow stencil (PDF - 129KB) as the first layer and this black stencil (PDF - 127KB) as the second. They could also stencil these signs anywhere... just so pedestrians feel they are being looked after.
They could be a secret, underground organisation where everyone is referred to by a nickname or a number and where their leader's face is never seen by anyone. It could, of course, already exist and could be plotting its activities right now on a huge map of Melbourne.
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Disclaimer:
I am in no way endorsing or encouraging any illegal activities like those listed above. I do not take any responsibility for the actions of others, regardless whether their actions resemble in whole or part to those discussed on this blog. The stencils and images provided may be used, modified or reproduced in any way seen fit. However, I do not take any responsibility for the use, modification or reproduction of these images in any way such as being stencilled on roads, footpaths, laneways, walls, fences, grass, trees, cars, people, animals, t-shirts, bags, hats, or private or government buildings such as those owned or leased by VicRoads, RACV or car retailers. Any similarity to real or fictional people, organisations or images displayed in this post is purely coincidental. No animals were harmed in the making of this post.
In other news: non-PLA citizen gets run over - PLA claims as massive endorsement of their policies. Petrol price doubles - people start using public transport en masse - noticable decline in obesity epidemic and asthma among children.
Jump forward to 2015: A businessmen was today found guilty of corporate misbehaviour for siphoning money from his tollway business to his public transport business. The magistrate was delighted but stern, saying: "To trams I hail, but you to jail!" In related news, the Tullamarine freeway was reduced to one 60km/hr lane last week amongst protesting by oil company thugs, one of whom was injured by a passing bicycle and later arrested for working for an oil company (a crime under the 2008 Clean Air Act).
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