urban creature: Jumping on the bandwagon

Monday, February 28, 2005
Jumping on the bandwagon
Ring Ring


I am your father.

Like derr... you told me this on Friday.

Oh... isn't this Robert Mills?

No. This is Billy.

Nevermind. Bye son.


Ring Ring


Hi there Billy. This is Andrew Denton. Would you like to be on my show?

Sure. But I'm hardly famous. Aaron's blog doesn't exactly have that big an audience...

True, but your dad is Tony Abbott.

Oh yeah... I have a few words I'd like to say about daddy. Do you guys censor out bad language?

Nah. We're on at 9.30pm.


We need you at the Sydney studio next Tuesday at 5pm.


We can't fly you here though. Cut backs.

I'll ask dad for some money and I'll see you up there. Looking forward to it - you're a great interviewer.

Thanks Billy. See you then. Bye.


Ring Ring


What can I help you with today?

What do you want? You rang me.

Sorry, I don't understand what you're trying to say. Which IKEA product do you want to know about?

Fuck off!

Sorry, I don't understa...

*hangs up*

Ring Ring

Listen, I don't want to know about any IKEA products...

No Billy, it's me Colin Barnett.

Oh. Crappy result for you on Saturday wasn't it?

Indeed. You wanna become leader of the WA Libs?

Ugh... aren't there any sitting Libs who can become leader?

Nope. They're more incompetent than I am. We need someone with a high profile like you. You can take us out of the wilderness...


Sure. I guess. Can I make up my own policies?

They'll be happy to have you and they'll let you do anything.

*evil grin*

Cool. Count me in. I'm free after next Tuesday.

We'll be in touch then. Bye.


*hangs up*

This will be cool.

Ring Ring


IKEA has a huge range of affordable products for your home and office...

Argh! Go eat shit.

Directing you to dining tables now...


*hangs up*

  Scribbled by urban creature @ 12:19 am - [Permanent Link]

At 1:24 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh no Billy seems a little stressed after his encounter with the automated IKEA service...perhaps i could asist him with a nice, relaxing massage. What do you think?

At 3:04 pm, Blogger urban creature said...

Oh, he'd definately like that!

At 7:28 pm, Blogger Deanne said...

Hi Billy and Aaron,

Kalgoorlie MLA Matt Birney is one of the suggested replacements for Colin Barnett. After comments on ABC Radio about Birney's looks giving him an advantage, the 'Inside Cover' section of the West is asking readers who they think is a spunky (IC's word, not mine) politician. If I spot any sexy right wing death beasts in the paper, I may let you know!

I'm glad I found your blog, it's always entertaining.



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Name: Aaron Hewett
Location: Melbourne, Australia

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