urban creature

Blog move

2005-03-13T01:31:00.000+11:00

The move is complete... and our new blog can be found at www.urbancreature.id.au/blog. Please updated your bookmarks, blogrolls, etc.

Pedestrian Liberation Army

2005-03-12T15:20:00.000+11:00

As you can tell from previous posts I'm not a big fan of cars. These contraptions are responsible for the poor design of cities, huge eye-sore freeways, pollution and road fatalities. They are also loosely responsible for obesity and heart disease.

This said, there are few people in the world willing to stand up against cars, and against the very powerful "roads lobby" in their misguided agenda of creating more and more roads.

Roll on the Pedestrian Liberation Army (PLA) I say! They could (under the cover of darkness) close roads and paint cross-walks. They could change speed signs to speeds more amenable for pedestrians - let's say 8km/hr. They could hack into the central traffic management system and change all the lights to red. They could leave a calling card too...

Something like this stencilled near the site of their thoughtful, chaos-creating endeavours. They could use this yellow stencil (PDF - 129KB) as the first layer and this black stencil (PDF - 127KB) as the second. They could also stencil these signs anywhere... just so pedestrians feel they are being looked after.

They could be a secret, underground organisation where everyone is referred to by a nickname or a number and where their leader's face is never seen by anyone. It could, of course, already exist and could be plotting its activities right now on a huge map of Melbourne.

---
Disclaimer:

I am in no way endorsing or encouraging any illegal activities like those listed above. I do not take any responsibility for the actions of others, regardless whether their actions resemble in whole or part to those discussed on this blog. The stencils and images provided may be used, modified or reproduced in any way seen fit. However, I do not take any responsibility for the use, modification or reproduction of these images in any way such as being stencilled on roads, footpaths, laneways, walls, fences, grass, trees, cars, people, animals, t-shirts, bags, hats, or private or government buildings such as those owned or leased by VicRoads, RACV or car retailers. Any similarity to real or fictional people, organisations or images displayed in this post is purely coincidental. No animals were harmed in the making of this post.

New Domain

2005-03-10T21:48:00.000+11:00

I finally got around to registering my own domain name - www.urbancreature.id.au. You'll notice that urbancreature.id.au/blog actually forwards to this blog. Feel free to update your links if you wish, although for the timebeing this is a little unnecessary.

Queer Eye for the South Park Guy

2005-03-06T13:59:00.000+11:00

BEFORE...

AFTER...

This might be a case of small things amusing small minds but it's still loads of fun!

More WA election stuff

2005-03-04T23:48:00.000+11:00

Following on from my WA election wrap-up, I thought I'd get Hootz (remember him?) to predict the likely make-up of the new upper house.

It's been 6 days since the WA election and most of the counting has finished. Perfect timing to predict the results for the upper house before the WA Electoral Commission releases them.

The Legislative Council is made up of 34 seats divided between 6 regions. Two of these regions have 7 members and the other four have 5 members. Labor and the Greens managed to gain control after the 2001 election with a slight majority - although the slightness of this majority caused a few problems for the Labor Government with its attempts at reforming the electoral system.

Below is the make-up of the upper house immediately prior to the 2005 election:

Australian Labor Party - 13
Greens WA - 5
Liberal Party - 11
National Party - 1
New Country Party - 2 (formerly One Nation)
Independents - 2 (1 formerly One Nation, 1 formerly Liberal)

It would be fair to say that there were 18 members on the 'left' and therefore 16 on the 'right'.

The likely make-up of the new upper house is possibly a little more boring:

Australian Labor Party: 16
Greens WA: 2
Liberal Party: 15
National Party: 1

This means that once again there will be 18 members on the 'left' and 16 on the 'right' - unless, of course, Labor or the Greens manage to gain the 5th seat in the Agricultural Region instead of the Liberal Party. The race for the 5th spot is between the ALP, Liberal Party, Greens, National Party, Family First, New Country Party and the Christian Democratic Party (according to Poll Bludger). While the Liberals are the most likely to win it, the CDP (with 1.81%) might be able to pull off what Family First did at the Federal election.

Here are my predictions extrapolated for each region (net change in brackets):

Agricultural

Australian Labor Party: 1
Greens WA: 0 (-1)
Liberal Party: 3 (+2)
National Party: 1
New Country Party: 0 (-1)

East Metropolitan

Australian Labor Party: 3
Liberal Party: 2

Mining & Pastoral

Australian Labor Party: 3 (+1)
Greens WA: 0 (-1)
Liberal Party: 2 (+1)
New Country Party: 0 (-1)

North Metropolitan

Australian Labor Party: 3
Greens WA: 1
Liberal Party: 3 (+1)
Independent: 0 (-1)

South Metropolitan

Australian Labor Party: 3 (+1)
Greens WA: 0 (-1)
Liberal Party: 2

South West

Australian Labor Party: 3 (+1)
Greens WA: 1
Liberal Party: 3
Independent: 0 (-1)

--

The big losers at this election were certainly the minor parties and independents - particularly the Greens who are likely to lose 3 of their seats. At the previous election they had picked up 2 extra seats (Mining & Pastoral and Agricultural) pretty much by accident. The potential loss of South Metro, though (a seat they've held since 1993) would be a little more devastating.

Overall, however, there appears to be is very little change in the left-right balance of the upper house. Gallop will still need to rely on the Greens to get things through the upper house and electoral reform is still out of his reach.

Royals

2005-03-01T00:08:00.000+11:00

After watching Denton's interview with Crown Prince Frederik and Crown Princess Mary I can't help but think that, if Australia doesn't become a republic soon, could we at least enter into a royal family exchange program? Surely Australians wouldn't mind becoming part of the Danish empire? And the British wouldn't mind either, providing they were offered Greenland.

Jumping on the bandwagon

2005-02-28T00:19:00.000+11:00

Ring Ring

Hello.

I am your father.

Like derr... you told me this on Friday.

Oh... isn't this Robert Mills?

No. This is Billy.

Nevermind. Bye son.

*grumbles*

Ring Ring

Hello...

Hi there Billy. This is Andrew Denton. Would you like to be on my show?

Sure. But I'm hardly famous. Aaron's blog doesn't exactly have that big an audience...

True, but your dad is Tony Abbott.

Oh yeah... I have a few words I'd like to say about daddy. Do you guys censor out bad language?

Nah. We're on at 9.30pm.

Good.

We need you at the Sydney studio next Tuesday at 5pm.

Ok.

We can't fly you here though. Cut backs.

I'll ask dad for some money and I'll see you up there. Looking forward to it - you're a great interviewer.

Thanks Billy. See you then. Bye.

Bye.

Ring Ring

Hello.

What can I help you with today?

What do you want? You rang me.

Sorry, I don't understand what you're trying to say. Which IKEA product do you want to know about?

Fuck off!

Sorry, I don't understa...

*hangs up*

Ring Ring

Listen, I don't want to know about any IKEA products...

No Billy, it's me Colin Barnett.

Oh. Crappy result for you on Saturday wasn't it?

Indeed. You wanna become leader of the WA Libs?

Ugh... aren't there any sitting Libs who can become leader?

Nope. They're more incompetent than I am. We need someone with a high profile like you. You can take us out of the wilderness...

*shrugs*

Sure. I guess. Can I make up my own policies?

They'll be happy to have you and they'll let you do anything.

*evil grin*

Cool. Count me in. I'm free after next Tuesday.

We'll be in touch then. Bye.

Bye.

*hangs up*

This will be cool.

Ring Ring

Hello...

IKEA has a huge range of affordable products for your home and office...

Argh! Go eat shit.

Directing you to dining tables now...

Argh!

*hangs up*

Labor gallops to victory in WA

2005-02-27T17:02:00.000+11:00

With a name like Gallop, you're bound to get shit load of puns out of journalists this week regarding the ALP's WA election win.

This election is possibly the greatest example of an incumbent winning essentially by default due to the incompetency and sheer silliness of the only viable opposition. The next task for the Coalition is to find someone with a brain between their ears to fill the role of Leader of the Opposition (and let's face it, there isn't much Liberal Party talent left on the opposition benches). It is worth remembering that the WA National Party actually have more in common with the ALP (and the Greens) when it comes to social and environmental issues compared with their supposed coalition partner. I won't be surprised if they (again) break away from the Libs while in opposition.

Hopefully Barnett can take his foot out of his mouth long enough to sign his resignation letter and announce a suitable successor for the seat of Cottesloe - which I hope, despite being in the wealthy western suburbs, is picked up by Labor or the Greens. It is interesting to note that Richard Court's seat of Nedlands was nearly won by the Greens at the 2001 by-election.

Let's also hope that the Libs see that the policies announced at this election - including the canal from the Kimberleys idea and the rolling back gay rights - as not endorsed by the electorate and hopefully never see the light of day again.

It will be interesting to see the new make-up of the upper house. The Greens are bound to lose Agricultural and Mining & Pastoral - which means that Dee Margetts will be out of the job again (she lost her Senate seat in 1998 to Brian Greig from the Democrats - who, by the way, lost his seat to the Green's Rachel Siewert at the 2004 election) and Robin Chapple will possibly go back to working in Giz Watson's office. At this early stage it is impossible to tell for sure who will control the upper house but it is likely the Coalition will once again control the upper house. It is a shame Labor and the Greens didn't manage to get an absolute majority last time around (and could have reformed the, heavily gerrymandered, house).

There was also a referendum held about the extention of trading hours. Technically it is a 'plebiscite' since it simply asks an opinion of the electorate rather than endorses existing legislation. Looking at the figures, there is an overwhelming NO vote to both proposals (first - to extend trading to 9pm on weekdays and second - to extend trading to Sundays). The Liberals seemed to have backed a winner here, although going against their own traditional allies, the Chamber of Commerce and Industry (which, you will know also pointed out Barnett's huge black hole in his election promises). While technically backing a loser here, the ALP successfully played wedge politics on this issue and have come out stronger.

The Democrats (remember them?) only ran candidates for the upper house this time around. They didn't hand out how-to-vote cards either. The result, as expected, is possibly one of their worst in the party's history with less than 1% of the vote (although counting is still in progress). It's a shame that a party that once had 2 members in the WA parliament is now getting a worse vote than the Christian Democratic Party who have never held a seat in this parliament. It's also worth noting that Damian Meyer, who was at one stage the President of the WA Division of the Democrats, stood for the Greens at this election for the seat of Perth. My old division appears to be crumbling, although support for the Dems in the rest of the country isn't that great either.

Under the mask

2005-02-25T23:51:00.000+11:00

Billy discovers that his real father is Tony Abbott, and not Darth Vader as he was lead to believe.

Street Art

2005-02-22T17:13:00.000+11:00

Street art is cool.

It is an attempt at sorts of reclaiming public space, dressing it up a little and reminding people that they are in an urban setting. Personally I dislike most tagging - it's obnoxious and crass, and unthoughtful - except when the artist is given a little more time and colours to create something worthwhile.

I adore stencil art though. Stencil art on the other hand is tagging's shy little sister. Hardly noticeable, except when you're up close. Stencil art is usually quite thoughtful - sometimes political, sometimes rude but always entertaining. As with tagging, if the artist is given a little more time to add more layers - they look even better - but unlike tagging it is possible to look good after one quick spray.

Unlike most public art, which requires commissions or grants - stencil art is open to everyone (well everyone who doesn't mind taking the risk of getting caught). It's possibly one of the more democratic forms of art - much like blogging is to writing and journalism.

Sometimes it is the stencil art alone that makes a laneway interesting, although most of the time these clever images actually simply add more to the character of a laneway. Side note... three more lanes have been added to my lanes blog. Lately I've taken to doing a number of lanes in the same block all at once - saving time and energy.

Anyways... back to stencil art - I'm planning on attending some of the Melbourne Stencil Festival which starts on Friday. I will no doubt be the uncoolest person there but I hope I can make up for it with my enthusiasm. See this flyer for more info.

Billy the Rebel

2005-02-20T01:01:00.000+11:00

Upon being accused of being boring and unspontaneous, Billy decides to risk it all and have his picture taken next to a sign banning photography in the area.

Side note... as with the removal of bins in the Sydney CBD, banning photography in the Melbourne underground loop is paranoia gone insane. Although it would be funny to see hundreds of Federal Police storm Parliament Station arresting a tourist for taking some happy snaps. Possibly not so funny if they spoke German and had a mental illness.

Unsolicited faxes #2

2005-02-19T10:46:00.000+11:00

They're coming in thick and fast and, frankly, I don't have enough spare time at work right now to list all these parasites on here. However, on Friday I received one notable fax from:

Pender Communications Ltd
5-B Wyndham Crescent
N19 5QI LONDON UK

Personally I don't know about the general intelligence of admin staff these days but I gather we're not completely stupid. The fax says:

"We want to send you our promotional faxes but only if you want to receive them... mark the NO box for instant removal of your fax number from our database... mark the YES box and add any additional fax numbers on which you wish to receive our promotions and special offers."

And here is the clincher... "Please fax back to: 1902 266 028... [small text] the cost of sending this fax is $5.45/min"

Only an idiot would tick the NO box and run up their boss's phone bill at $5.45 a minute!

These parasites are already wallowing around the bottom of the barrel of human decency by sending out unsolicited faxes like these in the first place but now they've hit a new low... they're the maggots feeding on the faeces of the parasites (no offence to maggots).

To their credit, however, is in small text down the bottom "To be removed from the fax distribution list please fax your number to 1300 558 851." Still, the cost of a local call is frankly too higher price to pay to be removed from a distribution list that I DIDN'T SIGN UP TO IN THE FIRST PLACE.

As with before, I look forward to hearing from those who have googled the company's name and come across my blog.

No jobs on a dead planet

2005-02-15T22:41:00.000+11:00

The Kyoto Protocol comes into force tomorrow. It is deeply shameful that my own country hasn't ratified this agreement - especially considering the concessions that were made just for us.

So in the spirit of Kyoto, I thought I'd float some eco-ideas out there in cyberspace. These are just ideas - debateable, questionable and even possibly quite silly... but float them I will...

IDEA 1: Capping Car Registrations

It seems a little silly to have an ever increasing amount of cars on the road. Surely if we set a limit to just how many can be registered, then people will most likely share cars or find alternative (and more sustainable means of travel). Obviously cars that use miniscule amounts of fuel or are completely fuel-free would be given priority or possibly be exempt from this cap. Priority for registration should also be given to those facing the most hardship too (e.g. those living far from (decent) public transport services, those who work out of normal business hours, those who are caring for others, etc.

Less cars on the road also equals less road trauma (providing driver training and safetly initiatives remain at the same level), less congestion and may actually lead to better economic outcomes. Fuel would be cheaper since demand would be down and, if eco-friendly cars are given priority or are exempt from the cap, then demand for these vehicles would obviously increase.

IDEA 2: Public Transport Tax Concessions

I've always thought it silly that businesses that give their employees cars and parking spaces as part of their employment packages actually get some sort of benefit from it. Obviously there is incentive for them far beyond enticing more talented people into their company. I may be wrong, however.

Regardless of this, why can't businesses get tax concessions for giving their employees public transport tickets as part of their employment packages? Add to this the employee's opportunity to claim public transport use (even outside of working hours) as a tax deduction if they personally had bought the tickets.

IDEA 3: Provide Better Public Transport

Simple. If all public transport modes run frequent enough, throughout the entire city up to at least midnight, then people will more likely use it. Twenty-four hour public transport is viable in large cities like Melbourne and Sydney.

IDEA 4: Free Grey Water Re-use Systems for Concession Card Holders

These machines basically make grey water (i.e. from your washing machine, kitchen sink, shower, basin, etc) back into drinkable water. While providing these free for concession card holders, it would be beneficial to increase the cost of water in order to encourage others to re-use grey water too.

IDEA 5: Tax Environmentally Harmful Goods More

We have a consumption-based tax which can be used more effectively to encourage people to buy products that are more environmentally responsible. Meat should at least have GST attached to it - plus a green tax of an additional 10% (possibly more if you buy that meat in a burger from McDonalds). I might be biased here as a vegetarian but surely there are better ways of using our remaining arable land than by using it for cattle grazing.

Billy does Wonder Woman

2005-02-13T12:26:00.000+11:00

Billy dusts off his Wonder Woman outfit for the Midsumma Carnival... and discovers a few other people wearing the same outfit.

--

This post is dedicated to Kitten Kaboodle who passed away on Monday.

King Charles?

2005-02-12T14:32:00.000+11:00

So only 37% of Britons think Prince Charles should become King, as opposed to 41% support in Prince William taking the throne directly after his grandmother - according to this article in The Age today.

Interesting... it's like they're living in a democracy in which they have the freedom to elect their head of state. Frankly, the best result would see Charles take the throne and 67% of the population marching in the street calling for his abducation - or better still a Republic!

Bound but not gagged

2005-02-11T11:10:00.000+11:00

Tonight I went to see John's play with a friend of mine. I think we're being quite the amateur theatre fanatics around town these days... this is the second one we've seen in 2 weeks.

The previous one we saw was Outcast Theatre's 'Naked' production. Which was rather heavy, although humourous in parts and with a minimum amount of costuming (i.e. a towel at most).

Tonight's play, 'Salome' is apparently a production of one of Oscar Wilde's French plays set in - of all places - a BDSM club. John was centre stage, handcuffed and in a tight pair of leather (or rubber?) shorts.

Overall, the actors gave a good performance - and this is especially so considering the director is an absolute wanker.

I'm sure if you get to know him, outside of the theatre, away from anything remotely stressful or stimulating, he might be a pleasant, down-to-earth kind of guy. But give him a script, a cast and a few strobe lights and he pretty much becomes Melbourne's Number One Wanker.

This might seem a little harsh, considering I've had very little to do with the man except hear other people's anecdotal evidence and my own brief brush-in with him while attempting to get back to my seat after going to the toilet, but still, he doesn't seem all that pleasant to be around. Is it any wonder this time around he has a "whole new cast"?

So... to the rest of the cast and crew - great job! Hope to see you at another play soon.

Have your photo taken with Billy

2005-02-06T16:25:00.000+11:00

Since no-one seems to read the side bar, I thought I'd advertise Billy's availability for photos taken with his many and adoring fans.

The exercise is simple - take a photo of yourself leaving enough room for Billy to be inserted and email it to me. You can make it look like you're hugging him, shaking his hand, whatever. However, what Billy is doing and what he is wearing will ultimately be up to me to decide. If possible, I'll try to make it humourous.

Preferably the photo should include your face and be of decent quality (i.e. no grainy webcam or camera phone shots). The photo should be of you and/or people that you know (with their permission of course). I will then post the image on my site and send you an email about it.

The first person to send in their photo will get an extra special prize from Billy.

Lanes Project: Bumper Issue!

2005-02-05T17:28:00.000+11:00

It's been 3 months since I last updated my lanes blog!!!

I guess my excuse is that my new job only takes me to the next suburb and I've been on a break from uni - so I'm hardly in the CBD these days.

I hope to get back on this horse, so to speak, and upload a lane every week. I'll try anyway. I've done 20 altogether now. Only 160 left!

I've taken photos of 5 lanes today for your viewing pleasure. Click on the images to make them bigger / uncropped.

Billy waits for the train

2005-02-04T22:00:00.000+11:00

Ironically Billy is 30mins late for his first day as a Connex "Customer Service Officer" due to a late train.

IKEA Hilarity

2005-02-03T20:57:00.000+11:00

I was blog surfing tonight and managed to find a hilarious conversation between Lindsay and the Ikea Chatbot (find her down the bottom-left corner of the screen). I was curious to ask her a few questions myself and sure enough I got some weird and evasive answers.

Me: do you pay asian children less than $1 a day to manufacture your products?
Anna: Please have a look at the Children's Furniture and Accessories.
Me: what music do you like?
Anna: I'm sorry, but I'm not willing to talk about those kind of events. Please ask me a question about IKEA.
Me: do you think there are heaps of people out there making fun of you?
Anna: For which product would you like to know what kind of materials it is made from?
Me: do you meet lots of interesting people while working in your job?
Anna: I don't know anything about the social life in your town, but I have some ideas about meeting and socializing, yes.
Me: what makes you happy?
Anna: I was created by Artificial Solutions (http://www.artificial-solutions.com), IKEA USA (http://www.ikea-usa.com), and HUGE (http://www.hugeinc.com/2001/huge_1000.html).
Me: so they are to blame. do you think i should email them and tell them you obviously have a hearing problem?
Anna: I'm sorry to hear that. Please remember that I can only talk about IKEA related matters.
Me: what do you know about john howard?
Anna: Here you will find the Bathroom Furniture and Accessories.

I'm both amused and confused by the last answer.

Surely the number of bored American teenagers out there with some sick suggestions as to where she can install the lastest range of Ikea products, outnumber the number of genuine customers keen to learn about these products?

Try it out yourelf!

Oh... and by the way... the map below isn't exactly to scale but the shear size of the Ikea store in Richmond isn't far off reality. I'm sure you can see it from space. It's pretty much all you can see when you approach the Yarra from Victoria St.

Billy becomes an Australia Day cliche

2005-01-26T17:43:00.000+11:00

In his defence, it was damn hot in Melbourne today.

Silly Righties

2005-01-25T13:24:00.000+11:00

There is a lesson in this for everything. I think. Next time you get an email from some blogger, telling you that you've been nominated for, say something like the Sexiest RWDB Awards, and asking for your permission to use your name and photo on their blog as part of these said awards, it may be helpful to actually read the provided linked posting about the awards, and possibly even other posts that appear on the said blogger's blog.

A nominee, who will remain nameless, emailed me today asking to revoke his permission to be nominated for these (prestigious?) awards because, and I quote, "I don't think it's appropriate to have my name posted with a photo on a site promoting homosexuality."

So just in case other righties out there aren't clear about this blog...

I'm a lefty. Full-blown, softo, pinko, vego, bleeding-heart, pro-choice, refugee-loving, Howard-Bush-hating poofter.

If you have a problem having your name and/or image in anyway associated with this blog, please let me know.

And, by the way, I don't mind it at all if righties put my name or image (if you can find one) on their blogs. While I still hate everything you stand for, I know that no-one in their right mind would ever confuse me with being a conservative, narrow-minded twat.

Billy goes to Midsumma

2005-01-22T16:47:00.000+11:00

Billy joins a cast of thousands at Federation Square last night for the opening of the Midsumma festival. It's simply the best time of year to be queer in Melbourne.

Pratt on debt

2005-01-20T21:36:00.000+11:00

An interesting article in The Age today by Richard Pratt urging governments to spend more and even go into debt.

Good idea, comrade.

The Sexiest RWDB Awards

2005-01-15T14:49:00.000+11:00

Do you know any sexy male RWDB? If you do, nominate them for the Inaugural Sexiest Right-wing Death Beast Award!

Simply email me (aaronhewett [at] myrealbox.com) with a recent photo of them (including their face) and a link to their right-wing blog or anything they've written that would, in my opinion, be considered right-wing. Then I will post their picture up on my blog and people can cast their votes.

If you wish, you can nominate yourself. I won't think any less of you. You may also send in naked photos but the naughty bits will be edited out. And, by the way, please don't send in fake pics. We can all tell if the guy in the photo is a professional model or porn star, as opposed to a professional wanker.

My rationale behind this award is simple - I have met some drop-dead gorgeous men in my time, who I've striked up a conversation with and found out that they're complete right-wing tossers. This is a chance to celebrate the only thing these men have to offer left-wing people like me: eye candy.

So come on, nominate those sexy male RWDB's! You can even do it out of spite.

Feel free to cut and paste this logo (and link) onto your blog.

UPDATE: The first entrant (Hamish J) has been nominated and I have set up list on the sidebar for the entrants. If you're a right-wing bastard and you think you're way sexier than Hamish, enter the competition today!

Grogblogging

2005-01-15T13:37:00.000+11:00

Last night I went along to the Grogblogging event and was surrounded by heaps of people (wearing nametags) who make up the Melbourne blogosphere.

I was great to meet up with bloggers in person and the venue was nice, although a little loud. Considering that bloggers tend to like the sound of their own voice (I know I do), a quieter venue next time may be beneficial.

I managed to meet Agent Fare Evader, Ms Fits, Evan, Chris Fryer, and had interesting discussions with some guy who is involved in Labor Left (can't remember his name, sorry). Also bumped into Brent (who I know from the Democrats). There were heaps of other people there too but because of a combination of drunkeness and poor lighting, I couldn't read their nametags so didn't end up meeting them or remembering them.

I didn't stay long as I promised a friend I'd meet up with her for drinks to help celebrate her 18th birthday. Speaking of which, I think I drank too much last night because it's currently 2pm and the seediness still hasn't worn off.

Billy offers me his protection

2005-01-11T18:11:00.000+11:00

Upon hearing of my mugging, Billy offers his security services.

The end of innocence

2005-01-08T13:30:00.000+11:00

On Friday night as I walked away from a Perth train station - on my way to a local gay venue - I was mugged. There were four of them and luckily for me their only weapons were their fists. However, there is a bruised lip that doesn't think itself lucky.

At first I thought they were joking - until of course a couple of punches landed on my face and I found myself on the ground, with one of them removing my watch and bracelet and the others rummaging through my pockets.

They were kind of nice about it - relatively speaking - since they gave back my wallet (at my request) after removing the cash and they returned my mobile phone. While I was walking away they gave me back $10 (presumably so I could get home). As the first - and hopefully the last - time that I've been mugged it was also relatively tame.

With all the walking around alone at night that I do, I'm a little surprised that it didn't happen sooner.

This, however, is the end of innocence. The end of (naively) feeling safe wherever I go, at whatever time it is. I can no longer claim that "it won't happen to me" because, quite clearly, it can and it did. I shed a few tears today at this realisation and the realisation that I will be watching my back for years to come.

And, if you're wondering, I did report the incident to the police and I did end up going out. A mugging is one thing, letting it ruin your night is another.

UPDATE: Here is a picture of the watch and the bracelet that they stole. They have more personal value to me than material value. If you see them, please let me know.

Merry Christmas

2004-12-19T13:32:00.000+11:00

Merry Christmas everyone!!

I'm off to Perth tomorrow to celebrate Christmas with my family and to enjoy my 3 weeks off work relaxing on the perfect beaches and catching up with all my Perth friends (well, the ones who haven't moved to Melbourne anyway).

Needless to say I won't be updating this blog while I'm over there.

Billy will be spending the Christmas and New Year period partying hard, sleeping in and being a contestant on the Price is Right.

Billy meets Sam Newman

2004-12-18T20:15:00.000+11:00

Billy kicks one for the team.

Unsolicited faxes

2004-12-10T19:44:00.000+11:00

Unsolicited faxes are incredibly annoying. And today, when thinking about telling the people who sent me something about a "3 day diet" this via a return fax, I found that they don't actually list their fax number. They don't even have a listing in the white pages.

And while their ARBN is legit, there seems no way to be able to contact these creaps - besides snail mail. I wonder why?

So in my frustration I wrote an email to a business on the same floor as them and asked them to pass it on (or at least pass on their fax number to me). I have yet to hear back from them.

Any company that sends me unsolicited faxes at work shall have their name listed here on my blog for the world to see and to shame. And if I'm lucky, after a bit of investigation I might even publish their fax and phone numbers.

Today's fax was brought to you by...

Insiders Australia Ltd
19/207 Kent Street, Sydney 2000
ARBN 107 406 388

If anyone knows their fax or phone numbers please let me know.

Older gay men

2004-12-05T21:46:00.000+11:00

There is nothing in the world like hanging out with older gay men. Or at least the ones I know. Their anecdotes are usually entertaining but also rather embarrassing - especially if they've had a few too many and they're not aware of how loud their voice has become. They seem to be able, despite their ageing years, be incredibly quick and poignant with their well-crafted witty (and also bitchy) comments. They have an innate ability to remember every line of every camp Hollywood flick and every line of every song sung by a 20th century diva. SIDE NOTE: I have an entire Shirley Bassey greatest hits album playing in my head right now.

I think it's important for younger gay men to associate with older gay men. I'm not meaning in a sugar-daddy type situation. I mean associate in a more platonic fashion. Once we get past seeing all older gay men as sleazy ogars drooling at us from their well-impressioned bar stools, we can actually start to see their importance as role models in our community (and besides, it might shock you to realise this, but not all old gay men find you attractive). Heterosexual men usually source their role models from their families. For gay men this is seldomly the case so we have to look elsewhere. Some older gay men retire gracefully, some party hard until their livers explode. Some have been in relationships for 50 plus years. Others are terrified of being in relationships. What they all have in common is that they've survived so far.

Gay men tend to fear growing old more than the straight population. This is partially due to our disconnection with the older generations of gay men.

Is Howard going soft?

2004-12-03T21:00:00.000+11:00

I don't know about the rest of you but I am getting this nagging feeling that the Howard government has gone a little soft of late. The strong rhetoric seems to have faded away after their fourth election victory.

This seems rather politically odd... considering they have a renewed "mandate" to keep pushing their right-wing, pro-war, neo-economic agenda. The first year of the election cycle is usually used to do all the controversial and politically risky stuff in order to leave enough time for the voter to forget about it at the next election. The agenda pushing is likely to be left until after June 30 next year when the Coalition controls the Senate. In the meantime they are appear to be softening the rhetoric either to save their energy for the right-wing legislative Armageddon or for some other reason I can't quite put my finger on.

Are there moderate backbenchers who need to be appeased in order to guarantee their support during after June 30?

Is Howard attempting to, after his success in swollowing up One Nation, now turning his sights on Democrat voters?

Or is he just getting the electorate ready for the likes of Costello, or simply giving us a slight breather before he gives Abbott the keys to the Lodge?

I really don't know at this stage. But it's scaring the shit out of me.

Billy shows people their options

2004-11-29T21:51:00.000+11:00

You're either with us or you're with the terrorists.

Good & Bad #12

2004-11-27T13:55:00.000+11:00

1. Officially working as a "planner"... [ TUE ]

2. Large debt catching up with me... [ WED ]

3. Swimming naked... [ THU]

Billy discovers open sauce

2004-11-20T13:59:00.000+11:00

Billy obviously didn't get what I meant when I said we'll be moving to open source soon. I admire his enthusiasm though.

Unfair Dismissal

2004-11-19T18:51:00.000+11:00

Unfairly dismissing employees is innately unfair, hence the term "unfair dismissal". Unfair dismissal can range from the ludicrous to the borderline. Sometimes employees challenge their sacking on the basis of unfairness when they know full well that they were at fault and rightly should have been sacked. These cases can obviously incur substantial legal costs and this can sometimes threaten the very survival of some small businesses.

On the other hand, employers who do sack their employees unfairly should be legally accountable for their actions. This is called "justice". I would argue that justice should always be served regardless. If people or businesses face hardship in attempting to access the legal system or defend their charges, they should be given assistance by the state.

For those of you who are oblivious to the concept of justice or the necessary intervention of the state, let me put it another way.

Howard will be attempting to exclude small businesses from unfair dismissal claims. He claims that by doing this it will decrease the unemployment rate. I am well aware of the lunacy in his reasoning... that by making it easier for people to be sacked it will mean more people will be employed. Certainly small businesses might be more willing to employ new staff if they didn't have the threat of suffering financial hardship if things didn't work out. This willingness on the part of employers to employ someone for the role and test them out for a while rather than engage in a rigorous and sometimes inhuman interviewing process at the beginning. Some employees do well at selling themselves at interviews and then generally show themselves to be lazy, thoughtless and incompetent later. For many others, including myself, who are hopeless at interviews yearn for the opportunity to simply prove ourselves where it really matters - on the job. This is part of Howard's reasoning and something I would agree with - on its basic level. However, this argument is simplistic and pretty weak as a basis for major legislative change.

Howard's changes would fundamentally result in a two-tiered system. One system for those who run small businesses and another system for those who don't run small businesses. I would be very interested to find out how a small business is defined by the government. If it is defined by the number of full-time (or equivalent) staff - let's say under 50. Those with 49 full-time employees will obviously be thinking twice about taking on an extra person after these changes are made to the law - presuming that their ability to unfairly sack anyone outweighs the benefit they would get from that additional employee. Small businesses mostly grow incrementally - they take on 1 or 2 additional employees as they see the need. These changes to unfair dismissal laws may have the negative effect of keeping small businesses "small". By creating a two-tiered system by setting an arbitrary line in the sand we may actually do more damage to the small business sector of the economy than we mean to.

Furthermore, small businesses often suffer from lack of employees with specialised skills and experience. Larger companies often have prestige and have the ability to further an employee's career without them needing to leave the company. Small businesses have two choices: they can employ younger people who are just entering the job market and train them up; or they can employ those who are close to retirement or have become disillusioned with larger companies. Howard's changes could effectively wipe out any remaining perception of job security small businesses currently have - making it harder for small businesses to find quality staff.

Having worked almost continuously for small businesses (including running my own) throughout my working life I am sympathetic to small business owners. However, the proposed changes are fundamentally short-sighted and could present the small businesses sector with many more problems than they appear to solve - as well as being contrary to our national concept of a "fair go".

Good & Bad #11

2004-11-14T13:53:00.000+11:00

1. New project... coming soon... [ FRI ]

2. Behind with the Lanes blog again... [ SAT ]

3. Quiet Sat night in playing Scrabble... [ SAT ]

Compulsory Voting

2004-11-13T13:40:00.000+11:00

This excellent article by Chris Barrett in The Age points out some of the many reasons we should stick with compulsory voting here in Australia.

SCARY REALISATION No.1 - compulsory voting is not enshrined in our Constitution and so voluntary voting can be introduced simply by an Act of Parliament.

The 90's

2004-11-11T23:10:00.000+11:00

The nineties were such an optimistic decade. The Berlin Wall had only just fallen, the Israeli-Palestinian peace process was looking like it was heading somewhere and Clinton was having his private member interviewed by an intern in the Oval Office.

And then Y2K came, some Texan dropkick became President of the US of A, some idiots flew into some tall buildings, and Iraq War II is fast becoming the television melodrama that might out-last Days of Our Lives.

On the bright side... some Americans have decided to apologise for their country's biggest mistake so far this century - Sorry Everybody

Good & Bad #10

2004-11-05T20:24:00.000+11:00

1. New job going well... [ MON ]

2. Bush winning the US election... [ WED ]

3. Discovering more flash animations... [ THU ]

A Third-Term President?

2004-11-03T21:53:00.000+11:00

If Bush manages to win the 2004 election, do you think he will try for a third term? Considering he didn't really win the 2000 election, he could legitimately run for a third term - although technically it'd be his second. It'd be like the Iraq War never happened.

Meanwhile, life goes on and this week's lane is up in the usual spot.

Billy gets lucky

2004-11-02T13:58:00.000+11:00

Billy rides a champion to victory today. In other news... some horse wins the Melbourne Cup.

Uncommon things

2004-10-31T14:06:00.000+11:00

What do a Today Tonight cameraman, a gang of grafitti artists, a bottle of vodka and fairy wings have in common? Easy - they all featured in my Saturday night.

I don't often right on this blog about the happenings in my life except in my very brief "Good & Bad" posts, however, last night was particularly memorable / strange / interesting and thought it worthy of a mention on here.

A friend of mine, Ben, threw a Halloween party last night and, yes, he is aware that Halloween is actually on Sunday the 31st but thought last night was as good a night as any to throw a party at his place in Williamstown. I have no idea why it takes me so long to get to Williamstown from my place but I did have to wait around a lot for connecting trains.

On the way, a rowdy group of people who had obviously been to the races hopped on the train. One of them was carrying a large video camera and I later found out that he's a Today Tonight cameraman and the camera he was holding is worth around $60,000. They chatted loudly with some nearby teens, pretended to auction off a boy's necklace and invited would-be thieves to steal the video camera (side note: wouldn't that make for an interesting story on channel 7's "current affairs" program if someone did steal it?). The teens later exposed themselves as grafitti artists (or "aerosol artists" as they prefer) and showed the group pictures of some of their work. Upon embarking the train at Newport, the group suggested the "aerosol artists" paint a slogan in protest to the toxic waste dump proposed for a site close to Mildura.

I bumped into a friend who was also on his way to the Halloween party and I watched him put eye-liner on using the reflection in the train's window and helped him tie his fairy wings on. He was one of a select few at the party who had bothered to go in costume. I was sans-costume myself.

I managed to drink an entire bottle of vodka at the party by mixing it with vanilla coke. Apparently vanilla flavoured vodka and regular coke tastes better than vanilla coke with plain vodka. I will have to test this theory out one day.

I met this nice lad who I thought was one of Ben's straight old school friends. Turns out he did go to school with Ben but he's definately gay. We swapped numbers.

The rest of the night gets a little blurry after this because of the effects of the vodka. I think I passed out a couple of times and spewed up in the sink. I woke up at some stage to realise they had all gone off somewhere. Apparently they went to the beach. I decided to make myself comfortable and hopped into Ben's bed until I was awoken by someone (not Ben) and told to sleep on the futon. I was joined a little while later by the fairy-wings guy and the guy he was being intimate with all night. They told me they kicked me off the futon at some stage but I don't remember. Presumably they had sex.

I woke up at 8am to a very bright Sunday morning and promptly realised it was actually 9am because of daylight savings. My head hurt, the place was feral and most people were still asleep. There were 4 fully-clothed people in Ben's bed and one on the floor. At some stage, I do remember, that my friend Andy showed up. He wasn't there in the morning.

I got up, got dressed, ate something bakery-looking really slowly and attempted to join in on the morning conversations. I then said my farewells and walked to the train station thinking that it had been an interesting night worthy of a blog entry.

Good & Bad #9

2004-10-29T21:13:00.000+10:00

1. Getting a new job... [ WED ]

2. The prospect of Bush winning the US election... [ NEXT TUE ]

3. Buying new work clothes... [ THU ]

TV Station Karma

2004-10-25T00:11:00.000+10:00

I found this article by Burnt Karma hilarious.

I look forward to a follow-up article when the FTA kicks in, Howard sells the ABC and the Rupert owns everything.

Billy Pimps for Aaron

2004-10-24T16:07:00.000+10:00

Billy helps me out with my job searching. Gosh, he's such a trooper. If you want a copy of my resume, email me.

Good & Bad #8

2004-10-23T13:51:00.000+10:00

1. Finishing uni for the year... [ FRI ]

2. Not having enough credits to do work placement... [ WED ]

3. The weather will soon be nice(ish)... [ SAT ]

This week's lane, Beaney Lane, is up on my lanes blog.

Latest lane up

2004-10-19T01:41:00.000+10:00

This week's lane, Waratah Place is up in the usual spot.

I've just realised that I've forgotten to do my good/bad column for a couple of weeks. At the end of this week I might do a bumper edition. Hopefully something good happens between now and then.

Democrats-Greens Merger

2004-10-17T13:01:00.000+10:00

After writing about this possibility on email lists and on other people's blogs, I thought I'd post something up on my own blog about it.

Richard Denniss from the Australia Institute has summed up my sentiments exactly (although more articularly) in his article in The Age.

"It is time for the progressive voices in Australian politics to unite. Australia needs more from the remaining Democrats than three years of squabbling with the Greens about who is the original environmental party."

The Democrats and the Greens have a lot more in common than they do in difference and the opportunities a dynamic, progressive and united third-force party would have on the political landscape should outweigh the immediate difficulties.

I'd like to be the first to extend the olive branch and invite both Greens and Democrats to discuss the possibility of a merger. Feel free to use my blog as a forum.

Coming back soon

2004-10-13T11:18:00.000+10:00

I know that I usually post something everyday but since it's the last week of uni, I really need to focus on getting my assignments in.

If you have any suggestions as to what I should write about when I start blogging again (give me a week at the most) please write something in the comments section.

And I promise to link the small photos with the large photos on the Lanes blog soon (for ACDC Lane).

In blogidarity

Aaron

It's time to go... Latham

2004-10-10T01:00:00.000+10:00

After accepting channel 10's invitation to host their election coverage, Billy delivers the verdict that disappoints a nation and throws the national wing of the Labor Party into undeserved turmoil. Shame, Australia, shame.

Last words on the election

2004-10-09T08:30:00.000+10:00

Not convinced that Howard needs to go? This article on Crikey pretty much sums up everything you need to know before heading into that polling booth on Saturday.

This article is something I would have beed expecting to read in The Age this morning - not because I think The Age is leftwing but because it has standards - and one of those standards is editorial consistency.

Here are a few gems from Crikey:

"Now [Howard's] just another ruthless populist exploiting the prerogatives of power whilst his government runs out of puff."

"One great Australian institution, however, that may not survive the re-election of the Howard government, is the Liberal Party itself. Sickly for many years, under Howard it has become almost comatose. Its members have deserted, dissent has died out, and its state divisions have degenerated into factional warfare over diminishing spoils. Howard himself is attempting to restructure the party as a tool of the federal secretariat, not a popular movement.

A Howard victory tomorrow would set the seal on his picture of what the Liberal Party should be: a party hostile to any genuine liberal thought, undemocratic in its principles and its processes, loyally supporting whatever policy twists the Leader (always with a capital "L" now - remind you of anything?) deems necessary to secure his re-election.

The Fraser and Howard governments both frittered away opportunities to change the nation for the better, but all the signs are that Latham would be a genuine reformer."

A change of government tomorrow will change the nation for the better.

Lanes double feature!

2004-10-08T13:27:00.000+10:00

This week I've taken photos from Duckboard Place and the newly re-named ACDC Lane. Check out my lanes of Melbourne blog.

The election is on tomorrow so don't forget to vote! Yours truly will be handing out how-to-vote cards for the Democrats and celebrating (or drowning sorrows) on Saturday night.

Kooyong

2004-10-05T23:45:00.000+10:00

It's one of the safest Liberal seats in the country and in the past 50 years Kooyong has been represented by only three politicians - Menzies, Peacock and (Petro) Georgiou. In the preceding 50 years, the seat has been held by 3 members also. That's six members in 103 years. And it's the bluest of the blue.

On Monday night I attended a meet-the-candidates forum in Kew, and while we all know that Georgiou is going to get back in (and possibly be our representative in Canberra until he retires in 10-15 years), it was good to see four of the the other candidates campaigning hard to win our votes.

It is interesting to note that 3 of the 4 speakers at the forum ran last election, leaving Mary Dettman from the Democrats to fill Ari's shoes this time around. It also turned out that many of the organisers and the candidates themselves were Melbourne Uni political science graduates.

Petro spoke to us in a rather arrogant matter, praised the Howard government, and belittled the Opposition and the minor parties. However, this man could have slaughtered a bunny rabbit live on stage and still have received cheers from the audience.

I had hoped that Tom Wilson from the ALP would have spoken very profoundly about the differences between his party and the Liberals. I was a little disappointed. He got flustered way too often, said some things that made the audience laugh (including the ALP's education policy). Side note... Kooyong has the probably the biggest concentration of private schools in the whole of Australia. Overall it wasn't his best performance. His best performance may come on election night when he pleads with the ALP head-honchos to give him a better seat.

Mary Dettman was a little nervous but she spoke well and got her point across. I would have preferred her to push voting Democrat in the Senate more but overall she did well in representing my party to the blue-ribbon and rinse set. She's actually quite active in the local community and should use her profile at the next state or local election to win a seat.

The Greens candidate, Peter Campbell spoke well, didn't slag off the Democrats, directly challenged both the incumbent and his Labor counterpart and raised a lot of important points. Normally I cringe when I put the Greens second on my ballot paper but this year, in this electorate putting them second will actually be a pleasure. He also openly raised the prospect of a Greens member for Kooyong. A prospect this cynic of the Greens wouldn't be dreading.

Billy does a Gretel

2004-10-02T22:31:00.000+10:00

Billy prepares himself for next Saturday night... "It's time to go..."

Playing the political game

2004-10-01T15:26:00.000+10:00

I clicked on one of those Google ads just now. You know the ones, they're tailored to the search criteria you've entered (or in my case, since I'm using an Opera browser, typed into the address bar). I was looking at the ABC election site.

Anyways, I clicked on this ad saying "play the 2004 oz election game" or something like that. I clicked thinking that it was probably some dodgy site that lists everything in the hope you'd visit them. But no... it's actually a game. You can even download a trial version for free.

http://www.80soft.com/pmforever/info/aus/index.htm

I'm waiting for it to download at the moment. I hope it's fun.

And it says you can play any of the four major parties. Yes four. Liberal, Labor, National or Green. Yes that's right, a Canadian computer game company thinks the Greens are a major party. They have three members of parliament! The Nationals probably couldn't be considered a major party either but they at least form part of the government and hold more than three seats (13 in the HoR to be exact).

I wonder how many other things they've got wrong. Watch this space.

--UPDATE--

Three things:

The game lets you choose Peter Costello to be leader of the Liberal Party. If only the 'real' election gave us this choice.
I tried playing the game as Bob Brown and realised just how little power he has in influencing the outcome of the election.
The trial version stops 3 days before the election and you will have to pay for the full version to actually get any meaningful use out of it.

Good & Bad #7

2004-10-01T01:48:00.000+10:00

1. Urban design group meeting... [ WED ]

2. Looking for work... [ THU ]

3. Bloggers who use RSS or XML... [ FRI ]

Latest lane up

2004-09-30T01:28:00.000+10:00

This week it's Hayward Lane. Check it out on my Lanes of Melbourne blog.

If you haven't visited the lanes blog in a while, I've changed the layout and have included a list of the lanes completed on the sidebar, and a key to my numbering system.

Hootz's Guide to the Victorian Senate Candidates has been updated recently also.

Billy smells something's off

2004-09-29T00:01:00.000+10:00

After a little searching through the bottom of the fridge, Billy discovers John Howard is well past his use-by date.

Labor should win

2004-09-28T01:09:00.000+10:00

I'm not saying they will win. I'm saying they should win, morever, Howard should lose.

Howard has lied to us about children being thrown overboard, about intelligence briefings, about interest rates, about many, many things.
Howard has sent us to a stupid war, fought for stupid reasons, for a stupid president. And now Iraq is full of stupid terrorists.
Howard has promised to spend more money in the last 3 weeks than he has in the last 3 years. So much for being a good economic manager.
Howard attempted to use same-sex marriage as a political wedge. It didn't work and now same-sex couples married overseas don't have a chance in hell of having their marriages recognised in this country.
Howard is the worst Prime Minister we've ever had. Yes, I'm saying it (in the voice of that comic book store guy from the Simpsons) WORST PRIME MINISTER EVER.

I'm not sure if any Howard supporters out there who actually read this blog but feel free to comment.

Hootz's Guide to Senate Preferences

2004-09-27T16:21:00.000+10:00

Hootz has a look at the winners and losers from the preference negotiations for the six Victorian Senate seats up for grabs.

Australian Progressive Alliance (APA) (Group G)
The APA seem to have faired better than the Democrats, securing preferences from more parties but usually after those preferences have been passed on to Family First or the Greens. The Democrats are preferencing the APA before any of the other minor/major parties. They will still have to wait until hell freezes over before winning a seat here but their preferences might help Family First or the Democrats get over the line.

Australian Labor Party (ALP) (Group I)
The ALP will pick up 2 Senate spots with ease. Jacinta Collins (3rd placed on the ALP ticket) will have a hard time holding on to her seat, although with help from the Christian Democratic Party and Family First, she may get over the line for the 6th spot.

Democrats (Group J)
I can't imagine a party in this state who has come out worse than the Democrats from the preference negotiations. However, they are still a possibility for the 6th spot, providing the Greens get more than quota, and they can beat off Jacinta Collins, Family First and Judith Troeth from the Liberals.

Greens (Group N)
The Greens as usual have been preferenced well by the micro and minor parties, however, these preferences usually filter through Family First first. This is also the case with ALP preferences. The way they are polling currently, they stand a good chance of winning the 5th or 6th Senate spot. Their increased vote in the inner Melbourne electorates may assist keeping the major party votes in the Senate at bay.

Liberal Party / National Party (Group P)
They are likely to pick up at least 2 spots - one for the Libs, one for the Nats. Judith Troeth is placed third on the ticket is likely to lose her seat (and 6th position) to Family First, Jacinta Collins or possibly even the Democrats. The libs would need over 42% in order to obtain 3 Senate spots, and their share of preferences isn't as good as the other parties.

Family First (Group Q)
They have the lion's share of preferences - from the left, the right and the centre. They must have one hell of a preference negotiator. Depending on how they go with primary votes in their first poll in Victoria, they are a possibility for the 6th Senate position.

One Nation (Group R)
Unlike the APA, who stand a chance if hell froze over of winning a Senate spot in Victoria, One Nation wouldn't stand a chance even if there was an ice age down there. The best they can do is increase Family First's or the Liberal's chances for the 6th position.

UPDATE:

According to Roy Morgan...

"Victoria: The ALP and L-NP would have each won two seats with the Greens also winning a seat, resulting in the loss of an L-NP Senator. The remaining seat would either go to the ALP or the Australian Democrats." (Quoted from Poll Bludger - 23/09/04)

While this fits in well with Hootz's estimates, Antony Green has a different analysis. Is Antony predicting 3 L-NP and 2 ALP with the 6th seat going to the ALP, Family First or the Greens (in which case the Greens may find it hard if they don't get a full quota)?

Hootz disagrees as the L-NP will be hard placed to get a 3rd quota.

Billy celebrates the grand final

2004-09-26T01:04:00.000+10:00

Billy discovers that there is only one thing worse than drunken Queenslanders... happy South Australians.

Family's First Preference

2004-09-25T01:50:00.000+10:00

The Greens are jumping up and down on their high horse again, this time over the Democrat's preference deal with Family First. Andrew Bartlett makes a few remarks on his blog.

There's so much I could say, but suffice to say that the Greens got rid of the Democrats' Vicki Bourne from the Senate in NSW by, among other things, preferencing an Abolish Child Support candidate ahead of the Democrats.

I would personally like to add that if the Greens had preferenced the Democrats second like they should (seeming as we're most alike policy-wise), the Dems wouldn't need to be seeking to maximise their micro-party preferences. When the Greens stop pretending they have the land rights to the moral high ground, maybe they might be a suitable party to hold the balance of power.

Good & Bad #6

2004-09-24T16:25:00.000+10:00

1. Attending the EAROPH Conference... [ MON ]

2. My employment situation... [ THU ]

3. My housemate in drag... [ THU ]

Fancy a time machine with your beer?

2004-09-23T01:29:00.000+10:00

This photo was taken yesterday (22/09/04). Funny, I thought England won the World Cup, and the year is now 2004. Maybe it's there as amusement and to confuse the punters as they leave this Drewery Lane establishment.

Hootz's Guide to the Victorian Senate Candidates

2004-09-20T01:07:00.000+10:00

You're letterbox is probably overloaded by now with election material from the House of Reps candidates for your electorate. The same can't be said about your senate candidates.

This guide aims to provide some preliminary information about the senate candidates standing in Victoria for the 2004 federal election. This guide will be updated as more information becomes available. If you have any information (or comments) about any of the following candidates please let Hootz know.

If you're after an in-depth analysis of who is actually likely to win the 6 Senate seats up for grabs, you can't go past Antony Green's analysis.

Key:
(*) Incumbents
(i) independent
(u) Micro Party
(m) Minor Party
(M) Major Party

Last Updated: 29/09/04. Information about candidates without a webpage provided in .txt format. Information was provided by the candidate by email.

Inclusion of information in this article and/or information hosted on sites owned or managed by Aaron Hewett does not in any way signify endorsement of a candidate or their policies.

Group A - Citizens Electoral Council (u)

Craig W ISHERWOOD
Kelly-Ann PAULL

Group B - Democratic Labor Party (DLP) (u)

John MULHOLLAND
Pat CREA
Gail KING
Rosemary MAURUS
Ken WELLS

Group C - Aged and Disability Pensioners Party (u)

Graeme CLEAVES
Ian KLEEMAN

Group D - Liberals For Forests (u)

Steve CLANCY
Rad WINTLE

Group E - Christian Democratic Party (u)

Alan J BARRON
Phil SEYMOUR

Group F - Hope Party Australia (u)

Tim PETHERBRIDGE
Lee-Anne POYNTON

Group G - Australian Progressive Alliance (m)

Chris GRIGSBY
Charles WILLIAMS

Group H - Socialist Alliance (u)

Lalitha CHELLIAH
Sue BOLTON

Group I - Australian Labor Party (ALP) (M)

Kim John CARR *
Stephen M CONROY *
Jacinta COLLINS *
Marg LEWIS

Group J - Australian Democrats (m)

Jess HEALY (blog)
Greg CHIPP
Tony INGLESE
Jo McCUBBIN

Group K - Unnamed (Anarchists) (u)

Joseph TOSCANO (more)
Steven REGHENZANI

Group L - Non-Custodial Parents Party (u)

Kevin BOERS
Brendan HALL

Group M - Republican Party of Australia (u)

Peter CONSANDINE
Sheila NEWMAN

Group N - Greens (m)

David Eric RISSTROM
Richard DI NATALE
Pamela CURR
Liz CONOR
Sue PENNICUIK
Berhan AHMED

Group O - Ex-Service, Service and Veterans Party (u)

Roger F TOZER (PDF File)
Pam BROWN (Same PDF File)

Group P - Liberal Party (LP) / National Party (NP) (M)

Michael RONALDSON
Julian McGAURAN * (NP)
Judith TROETH *
Dino DE MARCHI
Jim FORBES
Eugene NOTERMANS

Group Q - Family First Party (u)

Crikey have been asking a few questions themselves about this party.

Steve FIELDING
Danny NALLIAH
Annette BLAZE
Allan MEYER
Ann BOWN

Group R - One Nation (m)

Tim FOSTER
James NEARY

Group S - Unnamed (Your Voice) (u)

Richard FRANKLAND
Peter Grant PHELPS
John HARDING

UnGrouped (i)

Phillip MASON
Judiann LEGGETTS (founder of Disability Support Pensioners)
David BUCK
Barry WALTERS
Harald E DREGER
Glenn FLOYD (Australian Democratic Republican Party)
John A TIBBLE
Che Endra CHE-KAHN

Wil Anderson comes out...

2004-09-19T00:03:00.000+10:00

... as Dr Seuss on Friday's episode of the Glasshouse:

I do not like the left or right
I do not like them in a fight

I do not like their House of Reps
I do not like them on the steps

I do not like their stand on tax
I do not like them stabbing backs

I do not like their policies
On health or work or refugees

I do not like them in a boat
I think I'll try a donkey vote

Transcribed by yours truly.

Two lanes up

2004-09-18T20:22:00.000+10:00

This week I've done two lanes to make up for missing last week. See them here.

I deliberately chose Commerce Way this week because 10 years ago it was home to an event that some have referred to as Melbourne's own 'Stonewall'. Recently SBS showed a documentary called The Tasty Bust Reunion as part of their Storyline series:

The Tasty Bust Reunion, an insight into the 1994 raid of the Tasty nightclub in Melbourne, where hundreds of patrons were held for questioning for several hours and strip-searched, resulting in a class action suit against the police force.

463 patrons to be exact and those who were part of the class action suit received approximately $10,000 each.

While I think there are a number of differences between Tasty and Stonewall, there is no denying that the raid was a significant event in Melbourne's queer history and the win in court as a significant win for the queer community.

But the raid itself cost patrons their dignity, their beloved nightclub (which closed shortly after) and set a new low in police-queer community relations. While the patrons are still to receive an apology, moves by the Victorian Police in appointing Gay & Lesbian Liaison Officers within the force, and their presence (in uniform) in the march during Pride March are certainly a healing force.

More about the documentary can be found here.

Bartlett Rocks

2004-09-17T15:21:00.000+10:00

Six reasons to like Andrew Bartlett (leader of the Australian Democrats):

1. He's an ex-goth. I think this is where his always-so-serious look on his face comes from. Anyone who can go around in Queensland wearing all black (including black nail polish) has the support of this Melburnian. More info here.

2. He's an animal rights activist and militant vegetarian. He is currently the patron of the Vegetarian/Vegan Society of Queensland.

3. He was once the Democrat's spokesperson for gay and lesbian issues. He's an openly heterosexual man with a wife and daughter and felt comfortable enough speaking up consistantly for the GLBIT community in parliament (even after openly gay senator Brian Greig was elected). Standing up for the queer community is even harder when faced with homophobic opposition from both major parties.

4. He voted against key components of the GST. It's worth remembering that the leader that helped introduce the GST is now no longer in the Democrats, that the last 2 leaders elected by the party membership (Stott Despoja and Bartlett) didn't vote with their colleagues on this matter, and the 3 senators up for re-election (Ridgeway, Greig and Cherry) were senators-in-waiting at the time and didn't have the opportunity to vote for or against this tax.

5. He has a blog.

6. He's still rocking on!

Good & Bad #5

2004-09-16T23:57:00.000+10:00

1. Coles opening at Melbourne Central... [ MON ]

2. A Democrats candidate for Kooyong... [ THU ]

3. Missing this week's lane... [ SUN ]

Billy tweezes the peas

2004-09-15T01:00:00.000+10:00

While Mark Latham promises to "eaze the squeeze", Billy's first election promise as candidate for Kooyong is to "tweeze the peas" - a move guaranteed to win support from the many pea-haters in the electorate.

Kennett, Kirner wrong on pokies

2004-09-12T16:58:00.000+10:00

Two Victorian premiers responsible for the widescale introduction of poker machines have finally admitted their decision was wrong and should have limited the machines to the Crown Casino.

Read more here.

The journalist rightly points out that WA has the lowest rate of gambling addiction in the country because they have restricted poker machines to Burswood Casino. State governments (both Liberal and Labor) in the land of the sandgropers have endured a raft of campaigns to end this restriction and should be congratulated for sticking with their guns on this issue.

Hopefully with this announcement by Kennett and Kirner, the pressure on the WA state government might ease, and all states in Australia with huge gambling problems (like Victoria) might do the sensible thing and place similar restrictions on their poker machines.

Personally, I'd like to go around with a baseball bat, listening to The Whitlam's "Blow up the pokies" song and smash the machines into little, itty-bitty pieces. A boy can dream can't he?

Good & Bad #4

2004-09-11T01:25:00.000+10:00

1. Over 600 hits in one day... [ TUE ]

2. Being very behind with my studies... [ THU ]

3. A little more individuality on here... [ FRI ]

Lane way to the top for AC/DC

2004-09-10T14:04:00.000+10:00

After weeks of speculation Corporation Lane will officially change its name to AC/DC Lane.

Mysteriously the name change was announced only a week after controversial docomentary 'The Corporation' hit cinemas. Is Melbourne City Council worried about a backlash from filmgoers?

Read The Age story here.

Elections bring out the worst in people

2004-09-08T23:07:00.000+10:00

For those who are involved in the political system on some level beyond simply voting, you have no doubt ponded this thought. Vicious pre-selections. People chucking hissy fits about the wording on campaign material. Preference deals gone wrong. Dirt sheets. Backstabbing.

Democracy, in its modern guise, has certainly brought out the worst in people.

Elections should be taken seriously but not too seriously. Too many people have spent entire elections on too little sleep, too little sex just to participate in the country's largest game of roulette. And I'm not just talking about the candidates.

So send out your media releases, shake those babies and kiss those hands but remember that in the end the bad guy always wins, and even if they don't, the good ones will sell you out faster than parents can throw their children overboard.

Latest Laneway up

2004-09-08T22:56:00.000+10:00

The latest installment in my laneways project is up on my lanes blog - Highlander Lane.

Apologies for the delay this week. I was sick all weekend and couldn't get out there to take any photos til Monday.

Since this blog had over 500 hits yesterday (due to the release of the Greens Watch site), I imagine at least some of those people have found this blog somewhat interesting and might come regularly.

In the meantime I'm going to blog, blog, blog away regardless of who is visiting my crazy attic in cyberspace. Though it might be cool to get some email from nice people and not just irrate Greens members right now.

Australian Greens Watch

2004-09-05T18:55:00.000+10:00

www.australiangreenswatch.com is finally up and working!! (Although there are still a few bugs and design problems)

It is a website designed to scrutinise the Greens, and to generate discussion on important issues concerning Greens' policies and (in)actions. People are encouraged to comment on the articles and links I post up on the site, and to debate with other commenters (including Greens members themselves). It remains to be seen how interactive the site actually becomes.

It also features Hootz, although I'm still not sure what he'll be reporting on yet.

Feel free to let others know about it.

Klippel Feil Syndrome

2004-09-04T01:50:00.000+10:00

I have Klippel Feil Syndrome (KFS). It is a rare genetic disorder that affects 1 in roughly every 42,000 births (although this could be higher) and concerns mostly the fusion of two or more of the seven cervical vertebrae - resulting in a short neck. There are usually other side effects such as Scoliosis, Sprengel's Deformity or kidney problems, and it affects more women (65%) than men. Those with the disorder range from those whose symptoms are virtually undetectable to those with severe problems including heart problems, Spina-Bifida and vertebrae hypermobility. More information about the disorder can be found here.

I would possibly class my symptoms as being somewhat mid-level (although that's debatable). I have curvature of the spine, vertebrae fusion, Sprengel's Deformity of my left shoulder-blade and slight neck webbing on the left side. I possibly could attribute other problems to the disorder too, and there will no doubt be other health problems later in life.

So why am I telling you about this? Because I have found that very few people know about the disorder (including doctors) and very few people have met anyone knowlingly having KFS. I was fortunate enough to meet 2 other people with KFS a few months ago. It's an interesting experience to meet people who have had similar health problems, similar problems in their childhood, and similar life problems - all due to something incredibly rare.

I have found that people become much more accepting of your abnormalities when you can label them. I have also found that those who are more accepting are generally those who ask "so, what's wrong with you neck?" - although this is not always the case.

I started up an Australian KFS email list a couple of years ago and we have about 4 people on it at the moment. If you live in Australia and have KFS or have a child or relative who has KFS please feel free to join KFS-AU. There is also a worldwide (although the majority are Americans) email list KFS Circle of Friends.

While I don't have it as hard as some people (I still have all my limbs, digits and senses), the disorder has inadvertently taught me many things about life and many things about human nature (particularly superficiality). I used to dream about having radical plastic surgery or about waking up one day in someone else's (perfect) body - but now I accept KFS as part of who I am.

Good & Bad #3

2004-09-03T21:53:00.000+10:00

1. Being hit on the head by a 3 yo... [ TUE ]

2. Having a cold... [ FRI ]

3. Feeling like an arts student... [ THU ]

Everyone, meet Hootz

2004-09-01T22:01:00.000+10:00

Someone has to give a hoot about this election and who better to give a hoot than Hootz, my latest blogging sidekick. Stay tuned!

Are the Greens worth it?

2004-08-30T21:17:00.000+10:00

It's fair to say foremost that I am a member of the Australian Democrats and my party does have the most to lose from an improved Greens vote this time round. However, I don't think this makes my opinions about the Greens less credible - providing people are aware of my obvious bias.

That said, there are a number of reasons I haven't defected to the Greens. My loyalty to the Democrats has been stretched at times - particularly with some of our troubles. Partially, what has kept me in the Dems for 6 years is the lack of a suitable alternative.

The Greens don't offer a decent alternative. For me - politically, spiritually, culinarily - they don't cut it. I am an environmentalist. I am concerned about social justice - particularly with the treatment of refugees and asylum seekers. As a gay man, I am also naturally concerned about equality for GLBIT people. I am also a vegetarian, a concerned global citizen and between the ages of 18 and 30. For the Greens, I am ripe picking.

Unfortunately for them, they are not ripe picking for me.

Firstly, I don't agree with the Senate or any other upper house blocking supply. The Greens haven't ruled this out (as too the Liberals). Blocking supply means that public servants don't get paid, services can't be provided and grants can't be handed out. I support the right of a democratically elected executive to carry out its functions.

Secondly, I take the Senate seriously. It is a house of review where government legislation can be reviewed and debated. It is not a place for grand-standing, it is a place for Senators to seriously consider the impacts these laws will have on the Australian people. As a minor party you can either work with the government of the day to make these laws better or you can wave banners and slogans. Personally I know which is more effective.

Thirdly, their policies and rhetoric aren't fully thought through. I'd for once like to have a conversation with a member of the Greens (possibly this could be a forum?) without them endlessly feeding me a bunch of slogans. The Greens don't look too well into the implications of their policies - particularly the economic implications. This is partially due to the inexperience of the party and its lack of public scrutiny. But the Greens have been around for 10-12 years and Bob Brown has been in the Senate for 8 years. Political immaturity is hardly an excuse now.

Personally, I am just as frightened of the Greens holding the balance of power in the Senate as I am of another term of the Howard Government. In order for the Greens to win the support of people like me, it will have to be more serious, more responsible and more willing to engage with others. In other words, the Greens will have to be more like the Democrats.

Billy jumps for joy

2004-08-29T15:54:00.000+10:00

Billy is excited that we're finally in "official" campaigning mode for the Federal election. Billy is going to personally slap anyone who admits to voting Liberal this time. Democracy is one thing, stupidity is another.

UPDATE: I have created a countdown timer for the upcoming election. Have a look at the sidebar.

Good & Bad #2

2004-08-29T14:02:00.000+10:00

1. An October 9 election announced... [ SUN ]

2. Love-life problems... [ SAT ]

3. Lack of public transport on Sunday mornings... [ SUN ]

Latest lane up - McKillop Street

2004-08-28T19:05:00.002+10:00

I've passed through this laneway a few times in the last few weeks. Check it the photos here.

Inaugural Phototoing Bar Crawl

2004-08-28T00:09:00.000+10:00

If you've been reading my blog, you will no doubt have read last week's Good & Bad posting. If not, read it here. The bar crawl last time was impromptu and no doubt a "dry run" (if that's possible?) for the organised one that happened this Thursday night.

So surrounded by more of my Planning classmates we embarked on a scenic tour of Melbourne's CBD bars. We managed to visit five before I had to leave (and catch the last tram home). I'm not sure if they managed to get another few in before someone needed carrying home or what - but I'm sure there was lots of fun to be had.

I managed to take some photos of the event because, after all, that was part of the exercise. The following is a visual snapshot from the evening. As usual click on the image to display a larger one.

Japanese beer at La La Land. This photo was taken shortly before the bartender told us off for taking photos.

Citizen #381277 discovers interactive artwork in a laneway. He's pulling on a piece of string.

Walking down Hardware Lane. My crappy camera can create some interesting effects sometimes.

Urinals at the Gin Palace. I wonder how many drunk guys have attempted to pee in the top ones only to then by drenched in their own urine?

Where is Hoddle?

2004-08-25T18:21:00.000+10:00

Over on my Lanes of Melbourne blog I've posted a photo of a statue of Hoddle. It is somewhere in the CBD, care to guess where?

Latest lane up - Crombie Lane

2004-08-23T22:06:00.000+10:00

I know it's Monday and I usually take photos of lanes on the weekend but aren't you glad I took pictures today, in the middle of a bright, sunny day?

See what you think. The lanes in the West part of the CBD are rather boring so don't imagine I will be visiting them again anytime soon.

StupidMatch.com

2004-08-21T17:41:00.000+10:00

Inspired by Jerome's review of conservativematch.com, I've decided to create a website for other people who aren't catered for well on internet dating sites... stupid people.

Are you sick of not understanding what your dating is going on about? Do you get confused by words of more than two syllables? Do you not know what 'syllable' means? Are you sick of being taken advantage of because of your stupidity?

Well... you need stupidmatch.com!!!

Our very easy-to-use online dating system lets you find other stupid people from all around the world. It's simple, it's fun and it's FREE! Sign up online today and meet the dud or duddess of your dreams!

Billy goes to the Olympics

2004-08-21T16:25:00.000+10:00

I wasn't going to post anything about the Olympics but I couldn't miss the opportunity to break their control-freakish rules about linking to their website. See Ken Layne's blog post here.

What exactly are they going to do to those who link to their site incorrectly? Send around some goons to teach Billy a lesson?

Good & Bad #1

2004-08-21T00:20:00.000+10:00

1. Impromtu bar crawls... [ WED/THU PM]

2. Meeting down-to-earth celebrities... [ THU PM]

3. One-carriage trains at peak times... [ FRI AM ]

Billy Meets a Wallaby

2004-08-17T23:28:00.000+10:00

Billy meets a wallaby. No that's not George Gregan, Billy... and I'm not sure you should be feeding it chocolate!

My Dirt Unit

2004-08-16T01:12:00.000+10:00

Being the trendsetter that I am (*cough*), I've decided to start up my own dirt unit - to collect and disseminate all the nasty things I've ever done or been involved with - in the guise of "the public interest" or "the truth".

Having your own dirt unit can have its advantages. Let's face it, you know (or should know) your entire history thus far and can nominate many more occasions where you weren't the best human being, and you will always be one step ahead of the gossip mags, Crikey.com or a Herald Sun column - even if you have to write about something you did wrong BEFORE you actually did it.

And besides, dirt units set up by... let's say... the likes of Tony Abbott will always get things wrong. They never get the full picture, which can lead to the painting of you not being as sinister as it really is - although out of fear of a defamation case more than anything else. You're hardly going to sue yourself for defamation are you? You can be bolder, you can exaggerate slightly and you can go to town on yourself.

This dirt unit is going to bring me down before anything has really started.

My first claim will be that I'm incredibly arrogant. Afterall, I am not famous in any stretch of the imagination. Who would possibly be interested in dirt on Aaron Hewett - besides those who dislike me, those I owe money to or those whose gossip addiction isn't satisfied by NW Magazine? Will I ever become famous? Probably not. I'm studying urban planning. How many famous urban planners can you name? The great irony might be that I become famous because I'm possibly the first to establish my own dirt unit. Won't my mother be proud. And won't she be pouring though the list, identifying the times where I've blamed my sister, the cat, my imaginary friend for something I really did - and telling me off - 20 years later.

I also plan to make this thing interactive, so if you know me and I've done something mean, thoughtless or embarrassing to you or someone else - please write in and tell the world!

Melbourne Lofters show me their lane

2004-08-14T15:50:00.000+10:00

Phil and Jake from Melbourne Loft were nice enough to show me around their local laneway today - Flinders Court. The laneway photos are here.

As I mentioned in the laneway blog, it was raining and Jake held my umbrella for me while I snapped some (sometimes blurry) photos. Apologies Phil for the blurry photo of you - I am very much in need of a decent digital camera. I hope this pic is better Jake.

Thanks again Phil and Jake - you're both gorgeous and it was great to meet you both. I look forward to meeting more interesting people throughout the life of this blog.

The Hatred Amendment Act (2004)

2004-08-13T19:57:00.000+10:00

As you may or may not know, the federal Labor Party today supported the government's amendments to the Marriage Act explicitly outlawing same-sex marriage. In my opinion it's one sad, black Friday for the queer community in Australia.

However, that's enough of my opinion, lets see what other people have had to say:

"It's a sad state of affairs when hatred becomes law." Caller on Joy FM this evening

"The Senate Inquiry into the Marriage Amendment Bill had already been sidelined by bringing the legislation on ahead of the Inquiry commencing. Now, the Government is squeezing this even further by limited the debate to only three and a half hours and then ramming it through." Senator Brian Greig, Australian Democrats Spokesperson for Sexuality Issues in a media release.

"[It is] paternalistic in the extreme [for Labor] to say firstly that gays are somehow not ready for marriage, and secondly not to implement the commitments they made." Lyn Morgain, Victorian Gay & Lesbian Rights Lobby in the Melbourne Community Voice

"Howard and Latham married at the altar of bigotry." Banner at a recent Tasmanian protest

"[The Australian Government] is soft on terror but hard on homosexuals... shelving its 'war on terror' propaganda legislation for its 'war on homosexuals' marriage bill." Senator Andrew Bartlett, Australian Democrats Leader in The Age

"It is refreshing to see our national leaders put aside their political differences to outlaw something that doesn't even exist. I now look forward to bipartisanship support for the Bunyip Control Act." Paul Kidd in The Age letters page

Black Friday for Gay Marriage

2004-08-13T19:48:00.000+10:00

Billy lets the federal Labor Party know where they can sit... and rotate.

Billy's book launch

2004-08-12T17:12:00.000+10:00

Billy seriously questions his celebrity status at the launch of his first book.

Blog Addiction

2004-08-12T15:40:00.000+10:00

Is is possible to be addicted to blogs? To reading them, to add comments to them, to feverishly keep one's own blog updated with every thought, every second of every day.

It is possible - quite possible - to continuously look at blogs all day. Each blog seems interconnected with others by links to certain postings or linked by way of a blogroll. If that doesn't satisfy, there are blog rings and blog databases - where you can search by type, location or whatever.

Which brings me to an important point: is there a point one gets to when you're incredibly sick of people's opinions? And possibly even sick of your own? In a world where "information overload" is increasingly becoming a reality, is there such thing as "opinion overload"? Is this overload a satisfactory cure for blog addiction?

It would be interesting to here people's opinions on this. I'm not usually this existentialist - possibly something happened to me in my philosophy tute today.

The day I married Mark Latham

2004-08-11T21:32:00.000+10:00

Yes, I married Mark Latham. It was a simple affair at Federation Square attended by half a dozen Democrats, some curious onlookers and the media. I was, of course, wearing a John Howard mask and the mock wedding went more along the lines of a protest rather than a real wedding.

You can read more about the event here on Jess's blog. AAP have written an article about it, and I expect that the Melbourne queer papers will have us (me and Stephen, aka Mark Latham) on the front cover.

This is the first time (and possibly the last time) that I will be a groom - considering I'm gay and considering the changes to the Marriage Act Howard and Latham are proposing. I best send my mother a photo from the occasion.

Billy beats the drum

2004-08-10T21:31:00.000+10:00

Billy goes a little overboard at Federation Square as part of Triple J's Beat the Drum Competition. Why spend loads on marketing when you can get lots of teenagers to do it for free? Good one JJJ!