This week it's Hayward Lane. Check it out on my Lanes of Melbourne blog.

If you haven't visited the lanes blog in a while, I've changed the layout and have included a list of the lanes completed on the sidebar, and a key to my numbering system.

Hootz's Guide to the Victorian Senate Candidates has been updated recently also.




After a little searching through the bottom of the fridge, Billy discovers John Howard is well past his use-by date.


I'm not saying they will win. I'm saying they should win, morever, Howard should lose.

• Howard has lied to us about children being thrown overboard, about intelligence briefings, about interest rates, about many, many things.
• Howard has sent us to a stupid war, fought for stupid reasons, for a stupid president. And now Iraq is full of stupid terrorists.
• Howard has promised to spend more money in the last 3 weeks than he has in the last 3 years. So much for being a good economic manager.
• Howard attempted to use same-sex marriage as a political wedge. It didn't work and now same-sex couples married overseas don't have a chance in hell of having their marriages recognised in this country.
• Howard is the worst Prime Minister we've ever had. Yes, I'm saying it (in the voice of that comic book store guy from the Simpsons) WORST PRIME MINISTER EVER.

I'm not sure if any Howard supporters out there who actually read this blog but feel free to comment.


Hootz has a look at the winners and losers from the preference negotiations for the six Victorian Senate seats up for grabs.

Australian Progressive Alliance (APA) (Group G)
The APA seem to have faired better than the Democrats, securing preferences from more parties but usually after those preferences have been passed on to Family First or the Greens. The Democrats are preferencing the APA before any of the other minor/major parties. They will still have to wait until hell freezes over before winning a seat here but their preferences might help Family First or the Democrats get over the line.

Australian Labor Party (ALP) (Group I)
The ALP will pick up 2 Senate spots with ease. Jacinta Collins (3rd placed on the ALP ticket) will have a hard time holding on to her seat, although with help from the Christian Democratic Party and Family First, she may get over the line for the 6th spot.

Democrats (Group J)
I can't imagine a party in this state who has come out worse than the Democrats from the preference negotiations. However, they are still a possibility for the 6th spot, providing the Greens get more than quota, and they can beat off Jacinta Collins, Family First and Judith Troeth from the Liberals.

Greens (Group N)
The Greens as usual have been preferenced well by the micro and minor parties, however, these preferences usually filter through Family First first. This is also the case with ALP preferences. The way they are polling currently, they stand a good chance of winning the 5th or 6th Senate spot. Their increased vote in the inner Melbourne electorates may assist keeping the major party votes in the Senate at bay.

Liberal Party / National Party (Group P)
They are likely to pick up at least 2 spots - one for the Libs, one for the Nats. Judith Troeth is placed third on the ticket is likely to lose her seat (and 6th position) to Family First, Jacinta Collins or possibly even the Democrats. The libs would need over 42% in order to obtain 3 Senate spots, and their share of preferences isn't as good as the other parties.

Family First (Group Q)
They have the lion's share of preferences - from the left, the right and the centre. They must have one hell of a preference negotiator. Depending on how they go with primary votes in their first poll in Victoria, they are a possibility for the 6th Senate position.

One Nation (Group R)
Unlike the APA, who stand a chance if hell froze over of winning a Senate spot in Victoria, One Nation wouldn't stand a chance even if there was an ice age down there. The best they can do is increase Family First's or the Liberal's chances for the 6th position.

UPDATE:

According to Roy Morgan...

"Victoria: The ALP and L-NP would have each won two seats with the Greens also winning a seat, resulting in the loss of an L-NP Senator. The remaining seat would either go to the ALP or the Australian Democrats." (Quoted from Poll Bludger - 23/09/04)

While this fits in well with Hootz's estimates, Antony Green has a different analysis. Is Antony predicting 3 L-NP and 2 ALP with the 6th seat going to the ALP, Family First or the Greens (in which case the Greens may find it hard if they don't get a full quota)?

Hootz disagrees as the L-NP will be hard placed to get a 3rd quota.




Billy discovers that there is only one thing worse than drunken Queenslanders... happy South Australians.


The Greens are jumping up and down on their high horse again, this time over the Democrat's preference deal with Family First. Andrew Bartlett makes a few remarks on his blog.

There's so much I could say, but suffice to say that the Greens got rid of the Democrats' Vicki Bourne from the Senate in NSW by, among other things, preferencing an Abolish Child Support candidate ahead of the Democrats.

I would personally like to add that if the Greens had preferenced the Democrats second like they should (seeming as we're most alike policy-wise), the Dems wouldn't need to be seeking to maximise their micro-party preferences. When the Greens stop pretending they have the land rights to the moral high ground, maybe they might be a suitable party to hold the balance of power.

1. Attending the EAROPH Conference... [ MON ]

2. My employment situation... [ THU ]

3. My housemate in drag... [ THU ]

This photo was taken yesterday (22/09/04). Funny, I thought England won the World Cup, and the year is now 2004. Maybe it's there as amusement and to confuse the punters as they leave this Drewery Lane establishment.


You're letterbox is probably overloaded by now with election material from the House of Reps candidates for your electorate. The same can't be said about your senate candidates.

This guide aims to provide some preliminary information about the senate candidates standing in Victoria for the 2004 federal election. This guide will be updated as more information becomes available. If you have any information (or comments) about any of the following candidates please let Hootz know.

If you're after an in-depth analysis of who is actually likely to win the 6 Senate seats up for grabs, you can't go past Antony Green's analysis.

Key:
(*) Incumbents
(i) independent
(u) Micro Party
(m) Minor Party
(M) Major Party

Last Updated: 29/09/04. Information about candidates without a webpage provided in .txt format. Information was provided by the candidate by email.

Inclusion of information in this article and/or information hosted on sites owned or managed by Aaron Hewett does not in any way signify endorsement of a candidate or their policies.

Group A - Citizens Electoral Council (u)

Craig W ISHERWOOD
Kelly-Ann PAULL

Group B - Democratic Labor Party (DLP) (u)

John MULHOLLAND
Pat CREA
Gail KING
Rosemary MAURUS
Ken WELLS

Group C - Aged and Disability Pensioners Party (u)

Graeme CLEAVES
Ian KLEEMAN

Group D - Liberals For Forests (u)

Steve CLANCY
Rad WINTLE

Group E - Christian Democratic Party (u)

Alan J BARRON
Phil SEYMOUR

Group F - Hope Party Australia (u)

Tim PETHERBRIDGE
Lee-Anne POYNTON

Group G - Australian Progressive Alliance (m)

Chris GRIGSBY
Charles WILLIAMS

Group H - Socialist Alliance (u)

Lalitha CHELLIAH
Sue BOLTON

Group I - Australian Labor Party (ALP) (M)

Kim John CARR *
Stephen M CONROY *
Jacinta COLLINS *
Marg LEWIS

Group J - Australian Democrats (m)

Jess HEALY (blog)
Greg CHIPP
Tony INGLESE
Jo McCUBBIN

Group K - Unnamed (Anarchists) (u)

Joseph TOSCANO (more)
Steven REGHENZANI

Group L - Non-Custodial Parents Party (u)

Kevin BOERS
Brendan HALL

Group M - Republican Party of Australia (u)

Peter CONSANDINE
Sheila NEWMAN

Group N - Greens (m)

David Eric RISSTROM
Richard DI NATALE
Pamela CURR
Liz CONOR
Sue PENNICUIK
Berhan AHMED

Group O - Ex-Service, Service and Veterans Party (u)

Roger F TOZER (PDF File)
Pam BROWN (Same PDF File)

Group P - Liberal Party (LP) / National Party (NP) (M)

Michael RONALDSON
Julian McGAURAN * (NP)
Judith TROETH *
Dino DE MARCHI
Jim FORBES
Eugene NOTERMANS

Group Q - Family First Party (u)

Crikey have been asking a few questions themselves about this party.

Steve FIELDING
Danny NALLIAH
Annette BLAZE
Allan MEYER
Ann BOWN

Group R - One Nation (m)

Tim FOSTER
James NEARY

Group S - Unnamed (Your Voice) (u)

Richard FRANKLAND
Peter Grant PHELPS
John HARDING

UnGrouped (i)

Phillip MASON
Judiann LEGGETTS (founder of Disability Support Pensioners)
David BUCK
Barry WALTERS
Harald E DREGER
Glenn FLOYD (Australian Democratic Republican Party)
John A TIBBLE
Che Endra CHE-KAHN


... as Dr Seuss on Friday's episode of the Glasshouse:

I do not like the left or right
I do not like them in a fight

I do not like their House of Reps
I do not like them on the steps

I do not like their stand on tax
I do not like them stabbing backs

I do not like their policies
On health or work or refugees

I do not like them in a boat
I think I'll try a donkey vote


Transcribed by yours truly.


This week I've done two lanes to make up for missing last week. See them here.

I deliberately chose Commerce Way this week because 10 years ago it was home to an event that some have referred to as Melbourne's own 'Stonewall'. Recently SBS showed a documentary called The Tasty Bust Reunion as part of their Storyline series:

The Tasty Bust Reunion, an insight into the 1994 raid of the Tasty nightclub in Melbourne, where hundreds of patrons were held for questioning for several hours and strip-searched, resulting in a class action suit against the police force.

463 patrons to be exact and those who were part of the class action suit received approximately $10,000 each.

While I think there are a number of differences between Tasty and Stonewall, there is no denying that the raid was a significant event in Melbourne's queer history and the win in court as a significant win for the queer community.

But the raid itself cost patrons their dignity, their beloved nightclub (which closed shortly after) and set a new low in police-queer community relations. While the patrons are still to receive an apology, moves by the Victorian Police in appointing Gay & Lesbian Liaison Officers within the force, and their presence (in uniform) in the march during Pride March are certainly a healing force.

More about the documentary can be found here.


Six reasons to like Andrew Bartlett (leader of the Australian Democrats):

1. He's an ex-goth. I think this is where his always-so-serious look on his face comes from. Anyone who can go around in Queensland wearing all black (including black nail polish) has the support of this Melburnian. More info here.

2. He's an animal rights activist and militant vegetarian. He is currently the patron of the Vegetarian/Vegan Society of Queensland.

3. He was once the Democrat's spokesperson for gay and lesbian issues. He's an openly heterosexual man with a wife and daughter and felt comfortable enough speaking up consistantly for the GLBIT community in parliament (even after openly gay senator Brian Greig was elected). Standing up for the queer community is even harder when faced with homophobic opposition from both major parties.

4. He voted against key components of the GST. It's worth remembering that the leader that helped introduce the GST is now no longer in the Democrats, that the last 2 leaders elected by the party membership (Stott Despoja and Bartlett) didn't vote with their colleagues on this matter, and the 3 senators up for re-election (Ridgeway, Greig and Cherry) were senators-in-waiting at the time and didn't have the opportunity to vote for or against this tax.

5. He has a blog.

6. He's still rocking on!

1. Coles opening at Melbourne Central... [ MON ]

2. A Democrats candidate for Kooyong... [ THU ]

3. Missing this week's lane... [ SUN ]

While Mark Latham promises to "eaze the squeeze", Billy's first election promise as candidate for Kooyong is to "tweeze the peas" - a move guaranteed to win support from the many pea-haters in the electorate.


Two Victorian premiers responsible for the widescale introduction of poker machines have finally admitted their decision was wrong and should have limited the machines to the Crown Casino.

Read more here.

The journalist rightly points out that WA has the lowest rate of gambling addiction in the country because they have restricted poker machines to Burswood Casino. State governments (both Liberal and Labor) in the land of the sandgropers have endured a raft of campaigns to end this restriction and should be congratulated for sticking with their guns on this issue.

Hopefully with this announcement by Kennett and Kirner, the pressure on the WA state government might ease, and all states in Australia with huge gambling problems (like Victoria) might do the sensible thing and place similar restrictions on their poker machines.

Personally, I'd like to go around with a baseball bat, listening to The Whitlam's "Blow up the pokies" song and smash the machines into little, itty-bitty pieces. A boy can dream can't he?

1. Over 600 hits in one day... [ TUE ]

2. Being very behind with my studies... [ THU ]

3. A little more individuality on here... [ FRI ]

After weeks of speculation Corporation Lane will officially change its name to AC/DC Lane.

Mysteriously the name change was announced only a week after controversial docomentary 'The Corporation' hit cinemas. Is Melbourne City Council worried about a backlash from filmgoers?

Read The Age story here.



For those who are involved in the political system on some level beyond simply voting, you have no doubt ponded this thought. Vicious pre-selections. People chucking hissy fits about the wording on campaign material. Preference deals gone wrong. Dirt sheets. Backstabbing.

Democracy, in its modern guise, has certainly brought out the worst in people.

Elections should be taken seriously but not too seriously. Too many people have spent entire elections on too little sleep, too little sex just to participate in the country's largest game of roulette. And I'm not just talking about the candidates.

So send out your media releases, shake those babies and kiss those hands but remember that in the end the bad guy always wins, and even if they don't, the good ones will sell you out faster than parents can throw their children overboard.


The latest installment in my laneways project is up on my lanes blog - Highlander Lane.

Apologies for the delay this week. I was sick all weekend and couldn't get out there to take any photos til Monday.

Since this blog had over 500 hits yesterday (due to the release of the Greens Watch site), I imagine at least some of those people have found this blog somewhat interesting and might come regularly.

In the meantime I'm going to blog, blog, blog away regardless of who is visiting my crazy attic in cyberspace. Though it might be cool to get some email from nice people and not just irrate Greens members right now.


www.australiangreenswatch.com is finally up and working!! (Although there are still a few bugs and design problems)

It is a website designed to scrutinise the Greens, and to generate discussion on important issues concerning Greens' policies and (in)actions. People are encouraged to comment on the articles and links I post up on the site, and to debate with other commenters (including Greens members themselves). It remains to be seen how interactive the site actually becomes.

It also features Hootz, although I'm still not sure what he'll be reporting on yet.

Feel free to let others know about it.


I have Klippel Feil Syndrome (KFS). It is a rare genetic disorder that affects 1 in roughly every 42,000 births (although this could be higher) and concerns mostly the fusion of two or more of the seven cervical vertebrae - resulting in a short neck. There are usually other side effects such as Scoliosis, Sprengel's Deformity or kidney problems, and it affects more women (65%) than men. Those with the disorder range from those whose symptoms are virtually undetectable to those with severe problems including heart problems, Spina-Bifida and vertebrae hypermobility. More information about the disorder can be found here.

I would possibly class my symptoms as being somewhat mid-level (although that's debatable). I have curvature of the spine, vertebrae fusion, Sprengel's Deformity of my left shoulder-blade and slight neck webbing on the left side. I possibly could attribute other problems to the disorder too, and there will no doubt be other health problems later in life.

So why am I telling you about this? Because I have found that very few people know about the disorder (including doctors) and very few people have met anyone knowlingly having KFS. I was fortunate enough to meet 2 other people with KFS a few months ago. It's an interesting experience to meet people who have had similar health problems, similar problems in their childhood, and similar life problems - all due to something incredibly rare.

I have found that people become much more accepting of your abnormalities when you can label them. I have also found that those who are more accepting are generally those who ask "so, what's wrong with you neck?" - although this is not always the case.

I started up an Australian KFS email list a couple of years ago and we have about 4 people on it at the moment. If you live in Australia and have KFS or have a child or relative who has KFS please feel free to join KFS-AU. There is also a worldwide (although the majority are Americans) email list KFS Circle of Friends.

While I don't have it as hard as some people (I still have all my limbs, digits and senses), the disorder has inadvertently taught me many things about life and many things about human nature (particularly superficiality). I used to dream about having radical plastic surgery or about waking up one day in someone else's (perfect) body - but now I accept KFS as part of who I am.

1. Being hit on the head by a 3 yo... [ TUE ]

2. Having a cold... [ FRI ]

3. Feeling like an arts student... [ THU ]

Someone has to give a hoot about this election and who better to give a hoot than Hootz, my latest blogging sidekick. Stay tuned!

Name: Aaron Hewett
Location: Melbourne, Australia

aaron [at] myrealbox.com

www Urban Creature

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